I can’t see into the valley, because the fog only allows me to see about hundred meters of a greyish whiteness and when it starts snowing again the “panorama” becomes even smaller. It keeps snowing and it seems like it will never stop.

Every time I move in my moist clothes I am reminded of the terrible cold eating into my bones and I am so exhausted I can’t even shiver from it. Shivering would warm me up for a second or two, but I can not afford to loose any more strength, not even for keeping myself warm, because every additional move took away my chances of staying alive … and I wanted to live, if only for another day. That is how my every day looked; day after day, night after night …

How long do I have left – the eternal question? How long can I keep this up? How long?

… In my uninterrupted string of thought I was looking for hope, hopeless hope, looking for answers, a meaning, a message, a revelation … and when I have once again asked myself every question and rethought every thought, I “shutdown”, some big breaths and I am gone to a world where there is no time or space, no pain, no thoughts and no revelations … I fell asleep.

There are moments, when time stops;
there is no yesterday, no tomorrow, it’s just you;
your light lights up, like a comet in the skies, for a second;
trapped in timeless time that is not there at all;
drinking from a spring is a gift in the blessing of reality;
sometimes a smile, a touch of a warm hand, a look that doe not need explaining, is enough;
those are the moments when time stops for you.

How much love and compassion I have experienced from others in those hard day is sometimes still hard to grasp.

I thank every one of you that helped saving my life, with a word, with your heroic deeds, with your love – Thank you all!!!
Tomaž